70. 2025: Year End Review

 

Sometimes I like to look back. 

I like to look back to a world that doesn’t exist.. Not anymore. (Thats been a reoccurring theme lately)

That world wasn’t perfect by any means, but compared to this current world..

The 90’s.. My childhood. 

It was damn near perfect to me.

Christmas just passed, and I remember my most wanted type of toy for my early childhood years were Godzilla toys. Well I got one randomly for Christmas 2025, it was more of a figure for adults to display.. And when I opened it, suddenly all those memories from my childhood came flooding back. To a time long past.. Where my biggest worry was if I was going to get my favorite Godzilla toy for Christmas…

It certainly wasn’t about the world around me falling apart nor about losing THREE(four in reality, but I unfortunately never met or knew the 4th one named Salvador) family members in one year. 

It wasn’t about that at all. 

But like I said.. That world doesn’t exist anymore.

The world we live in now is one of war and division. Ruled by a wannabe dictator “king” who is a ultra narcissist, that only cares about himself and his brown nosers(until they lose their usefulness). This year pretty much started off in the worse way possible, inaugurating this incompetent person. I of course had bad feelings about it, but if you read my blog titled “My Second Letter To Donald Trump”, you would see that I was willing to give him his SECOND due chance, just like I would for anyone else. Well let’s just say a year in, that chance isn’t looking too hot. He is bombing so hard, even his own rabid supporters are turning on him.. It’s not going good at all. If he was just incompetent, I could live with that.. But malignant narcissism and the unmatched division he sows, is what I cannot accept. He is so full of anger and hate for those who disagree with him, it’s disgusting. Thats not a president. That’s a growing despot cult leader not worthy of the office. I can go on all day about him and the failing presidency, but I will move on..

Lets me throw in a positive event too.. I had a couple of decent days this year, but I really had maybe two GREAT events happen this year, the first being the successful belated birthday kickback(s) I had been planning for Months(the second and most important one is at the bottom of this blog). My 34th birthday was WILD this year, the actual celebration kickback was delayed from my birthday to the summer unfortunately, but when it finally happened.. I had an absolute BLAST! I got food, snacks, drinks, cosmic lights and so much more! I went all out! I even had multiple versions of it with different friends, it was honestly one of the shining jewels of this year. Was it perfect? No, but they were pretty much as good as I could have hoped for. Especially being held at our house for the first time. I’m eternally grateful for all the amazing people that came, I really felt special and appreciated on those days.. I loved every second and wished they had lasted much longer.. 

Now back to the literally infinite NEGATIVES of the year! I started off this year with COVID-19 AGAIN, in late January.. The second year in a row, I caught the apocalyptic virus that once brought the world to its knees and killed my uncle… SO THAT WAS A FUN NIGHTMARE TO DEAL WITH AGAIN. We have a world that is absolutely being crushed economically. Inflation is at record levels, there are no jobs, everything is INSANELY EXPENSIVE, AI is literally devouring and encompassing EVERYTHING(especially jobs), and the future is looking quite bleak for us all, worse then the pandemic in allot of ways. Don’t even get me started on war and conflict.. The Ukraine war STILL rages on with no end in sight. At the time of this writing, we are beginning small military conflicts with Venezuela and Nigeria. This was all claimed to be the era of peace, but it ended up becoming the opposite. Year after year.. More failing economies, more war and death. People dying left and right, and we can’t even blame it on a virus this time.. Our future ever since the pandemic started.. Falling deeper and deeper into the abyss. On the more personal side.. Every year is a new painful lesson for us all to learn, and I tend to learn allot of them very late in life.. A painful lesson I learned over the years from experience that dawned on me recently, is that you cannot truly rely on anyone. Everyone will let you down eventually, sooner or later. The more self sufficient you are, the better. Because in my experience, trusting that people will come through for you a majority of the time, is a fools game. And I was a fool… I will admit to that. I’m a die hard believer of the old saying.. “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself”. Nobody will care about what you want, as much as you. 98% of the time. Related to that lesson is dont wait, especially for others. DO IT NOW. NOW. Because nobody is going to rush for you, and then it will be too late. All painful lessons.. Worse than painful actually, Literally life and death lessons I had to learn. LIVES WERE LOST WHILE LEARNING THESE LESSONS…

God.

2025.

2025 was one of the worst years of my life, if not the WORST. 

There was allot more to it then what I wrote already, but then this blog would be way too long. I could live with all this negative news, I could deal with it all.. What else is new right? But there was one aspect of this year I could not “deal with”.. And that was the deaths of FOUR of my family members, though I want to focus on the three I personally knew for this blog.. You see my family took a big hit this year, three very near and dear to me family members died unexpectedly.. And its affected me allot inside. It was almost one after the other, I  couldn’t even mourn the last one before the next one died. I just didn’t think it would all happen so fast… And it made an already terrible year into a Nightmare. I want to turn this final portion of this blog into somewhat of a memorial to them.. In their honor. This list is from most the recent deaths to oldest. 

1. Elena Reyna Zuñiga Luna (we called her Nana Nena, she was my grandmother) passed on 12/4/25 at around 5PM of health complications due to old age. She was 98 and just about to turn 99 in January 2026. 

2. Jesse Marquez(he was a family friend I adopted as a step uncle) passed away on 11/4/25 from complications of being hit by a car(he was murdered essentially). He was 74 years old. 

3. Rosanna Filomena Sarvis(she was my step aunt from a previous marriage we all called “Auntie”) passed away on 3/10/25 of health issues. She was 63.

These three people are my family, we lost them in 2025.. They all played an integral part of my life in many different ways.. They all left their mark on my life, especially in my childhood.

And I loved them all. 

More than they probably ever knew. 

But wherever they are.. They know now.

I’m a very sentimental person, I feel like I had to do something for them.. Even if it’s a small gesture. Something that maybe they can see from where they are.. 

Something they would appreciate. 

Something that would make them smile.

In this entire living hell that was 2025, it was up to me to make one of the best if not THE best moment of the year special. I made this art of them three on it with the help of several programs, as well as wrote this full on poem myself.. All for them. I had it professionally printed up and put into a glass picture frame, the same kind I made when I made the first poem for the death of my uncle Juan from COVID. I put it all together and wrapped it up in a Christmas bag for my parents.. I wanted to surprise them again this Christmas with it. 

And well let’s just say they were surprised and very emotional, they were totally caught off guard and they loved it. I always had a knack for meaningful gifts..

I planned it all out perfectly, and It was a mission success. 

That was truly the best and greatest moment of 2025. 

The highlight of this year. 

And I made it happen. 

I made it fucking happen. 

All for them. 

2025 took so much from me, so much from all of us.

But the one thing it couldn’t take..

Was the love I have for my loved ones.

The ones alive and passed away. 

In 2025, one of the worst years of my life..

I had one of the greatest moments of my life.

It was beautiful.

And I like to think, all three of them are looking down on me right now..

And saying… 

“Thank you”.

____________________________

*(Here is the full written version of the poem that would not fit in the image)

Dear: Nana Nena, Uncle Jesse, And Auntie Rosanna

In 2025 we lost you three. 

You were finally called home. 

But in reality we didn’t lose you. 

Because you have ascended to a reality we can never even begin to fathom. 

And with your ascensions..

You are more with us than ever before. We just can’t see you. 

You are not gone, you have just shed your mortal shells.  

To become something new.

Something better.

Welcomed into God’s open arms. 

And to be shown the wonders of the Universe and beyond. 

Watching over us, as well as waiting for us..

For when it is our turn to shed our mortal shells and ascend too.

And to be with you again. 

At long last.. 

In Eternity. 

Thank you for being a part of our lives. Have a good journey you three.

I love you all. 

Until we meet again.

- Love, Jacob Zuniga (Let’s pray for a better 2026 everyone)

69. “Every Monster Was Once A Man”

 

(Disclaimer: This is a totally fictional horror story Halloween special told through the point of view of a deranged serial killer. Everything here is just for dark make believe entertainment value, nothing is to be taken serious or literal. There will be very graphic content, viewer discretion is advised.)

_________________________

Sometimes I cry.

Tears of red tinted anguish streaming down my face.

I cannot stop them.

I hate it so much.

I hate the guilt that I feel.

I hate that I feel human, when I know I’m a monster. 

Why?

BECAUSE I HATE THE ENTIRE DAMNED HUMAN RACE.

Especially myself..

So why must I cry?

Every time I kill. 

It all started with me as a child, I had a childhood filled with abuse, neglect, hatred, and sadness… My parents were drug addicted, profoundly mentally ill, broken hollow people.. If you can even call them people, they were more like sub human degenerate scum. Who only had a child to inflict inconceivable horrors and pain on, but most of all to teach that the world is truly evil. They beat me unmercifully, starved me, locked me in pitch black rooms for weeks, humiliated me, told me daily I was a mistake, that I should have never been born, and that they should have aborted me with a rusty coat hanger(I agree), and so much more. They hated me… And I hated them. Nobody helped me, nobody saved me. The entire world turned a blind eye to what I was going through, I was all alone to suffer for years... But dear old mom and dad did teach me another very important lesson.. Due to the cruelty of this world, you are either Predator or Prey.. When I grew up.. I decided to stop being the Prey, and become the Predator. What my parents and the world molded me into, is a monster that would devour the flesh of tainted souls. For what the human race and world did to me, I would payback a thousand fold. 

That was the original plan at least.. My first ever prey was my bully from High School senior year, who constantly humiliated and made me suffer during school, this one was very personal.. His name was Eric, and I enjoyed this more than I ever thought possible. I remember it like it was yesterday.. He saw me walking to class, pushed me against the wall and demanded any money I had.. This happened many times and was almost a daily occurrence. In my weaker days.. I just gave him whatever I had. But those days are over now, it’s my turn to be the Predator. So I was counting on him doing this, I was excited. I said sure, let’s go into the private unisex restroom real quick and I’ll give it to you, so nobody sees. He was confused for a second, but excited at the greedy prospect of free money.. He obliged. We went in and locked the door, I could tell he was feeling off about what was going on.. So he said hurry up and give me the money. I think he knew something was up. Well as I reached in my pocket to get the “money” slowly.. He looked away for a second, and well thats when I pulled out my knife at quick speed and plunged it upward from the bottom of his skull up into his throat. Direct hit! His eyes widened and he was gurgling blood from his mouth. I looked him in the eye and told him “Keep the change asshole” Hah. Then I ripped the blade out of his upper neck, to see a torrent of blood and entrails pour out. He fell to the ground twitching, eyes rolling back in a pool of his own blood. Dead. 

That..

Was…

ORGASMIC. 

I never thought it was possible to feel this good, I loved it! I hated only one thing about it… That I only got to do it ONCE! Oh but this asshole would be the first of many, just an appetizer in the grand feast I will unleash on this world. I will be death INCARNATE HAHAHAHAHA…. 

Hahaha…

Haha

Hah.

Eh?

What’s this?

My eyes are welling up? What the hell, my eyes are watering. Did I get dust or something in my eye, whats going on? I feel strange, I feel… Strange… Sad… Guilt... Ugh what the fuck. What is this? It must be the rush of insane amounts of adrenaline and anxiety, yeah thats it! Its allot to take in! I wipe away my tears with my sleeve, wash my heads and knife as good as I can. I leave the restroom and lock the door behind me. “Guess you won’t have to worry about failing math class anymore. YOU’RE WELCOME. hehe” I whispered under my breath as I walked away, wiping my last tear away.. I was never caught. Too bad.

________________________________

Memory Flashback:

When I was five, I stole a moldy stale cookie off the kitchen counter because I was starving. Well my parents caught me. So they chained me up in the garage, and beat me with metal bats for an hour. I spat up blood for days..

________________________________

In the coming years after my first murder.. I would continue my plan of death and carnage. My second victim was my manager David at my retail job, he was a real cock sucker and would yell and get on my ass for even the slightest infraction.. He threatened to fire me often if I didn’t work the way he wanted to a T. All my coworkers and I hated him immensely there, but only I would be the only one to experience the pleasure of doing something about it. When he got into his car after work to head home that night, I had broken in earlier and hid in the back seat.. Well as he was driving near a large deep cliff, I popped out, he screamed, and I quickly wrapped some razor wire around his neck and started…. Sawing away. As he screamed and panicked, he frantically started pulling at the razor wire, I just kept sawing and witnessed the blood gush out and bone saw apart. It was a glorious site! The car twisted and weaved side to side, it was nearing the cliff edge. By that time I had to jump out the backseat, his head was hanging on by skin and a couple of tendons. I hit the road with a couple of scratched and bruises, but I was okay. My beloved manager David though, I couldn’t say the same for. His car rolled off the cliff and crashed down 100 feet below and exploded. It was truly a site to behold! The explosion, the flames, the smoke, the MAYHEM. It was incredible.. As I walked into the woods nearby before any people or police came, I looked at the burning wreckage and whispered to myself.. “You kept saying you were going to fire me.  But it looks like you are the one who got FIRED dick head hehehe”. As I hurried through the forest to get away from the scene I smiled with smug satisfaction, my second kill completed.. Only for a tear to run down my face. Oh no not again, my eyes start to well up again and that intense feeling of sadness, guilt, and despair consumes me. It must be the adrenaline and heat of the moment again, it has to be! I feel almost paralyzed, maybe he didn’t deserve that… I feel bad.. NO a monster cannot feel bad, I CANT FEEL BAD. I stop in my tracks, I wipe away the tears and slap my face to snap out of it. What is wrong with me? I don’t know but I have to go before the police come, I snuck away and ran home.. Later I saw the incident was all over the news, they chalked it up to freak accident of him falling asleep at the wheel, there was only ashes anyways.. No evidence. They again, never found the “culprit”. Sad.

________________________________

Memory Flashback:

When I was 10 I brought home a spelling test I managed to score a “B” on, and I brought it to my parents. Well once they woke up from their drug induced black out. They looked at the test and said.. “Too stupid to get an A huh? What a disappointment, fuck off.” They scoffed, ripped the test paper up, threw it on the floor, and walked off outside to get more drugs. A piece of the paper fell on my foot, I picked it up and it said... 

“Great job on the B! I’m so proud of you! 

- Ms. Anna”

________________________________

Sometime later.. My third kill would happen. It was a huge turning point for me, it was a neighbor of mine named Danniele. I liked her, she was beautiful and kind to everyone. She was probably the only person on Earth I didn’t want to immediately slice open and watch their guts pour out. I didn’t know what I thought I could have with her, the prospect of a normal life and having a relationship seemed so Alien to me.. I was a fool to think I could have that. You see, after living by her and having the occasional “chit chat” conversation with her in passing. I decided to REALLY talk with her, and maybe ask her out. Yeah I didn’t think this through.. I put on a nice set of clothes, went up to her house door, and knocked on it.. She opened the door, she was surprised to see me, I can tell she was caught off guard. I was anxious to say the least.. She said hello and asked whats up, did I need something? I was light headed.. I said I wanted to ask you something. Well I won’t bore you with the humiliating details, but long story short I asked her out.. And she said while flattered, that she wasn’t looking for a relationship right now and she just doesn’t see me like that. She is just happy with us just being good neighbors…

…

…

Me: “Oh really? Okay thats fine... Then let me show you how good a neighbor I can be.”

Her: “What..?”

I pulled out my chloroform soaked rag, slammed it against her face hard and violently shoved her back into her house and locked the door behind us. As she became unconscious, I told her I knew she would reject me.. And I was prepared for that. Very much so. I dragged her down to the basement, pull out the bag of chains and tools I left in there when I broke into her basement last night. I tied her up on a large table she had, very tight and made it so that she can never get out. I then patiently waited, staring at her unconscious body, eagerly waiting for her to wake up.. So that she may be full aware of the AGONY she will feel. You see.. My first two kills were quick and done fast, they barely felt any pain for more than a couple of seconds. I look back at them now.. In my haste and anxiousness, I rushed them waaay too much. One might say those were Merciful deaths… Well guess what? I’m not feeling merciful anymore. I’m done rushing it. Death? That would be a relief, freedom for her. No, this time.. For the crime of rejecting me, for being fucking BORN… I’M TAKING MY TIME. NICE AND SLOW. HEHEHE. I also decided to wear this mask I constructed, as cliché as it is.. I want them for now on to see the face of the monster that I truly am, what I am inside. Because my human face is the true mask, a fake false symbol of the humanity I lost many years ago.. What I see in the mirror everyday, that isn’t me.. Not anymore. This new “mask” is my true face, the embodiment of the infinite darkness in my heart.. And my lust filled HATE for everyone that has ever lived, especially those that slight me. My new face is a lifeless whitened and pale site to behold, carved in with red vein like gashes and etchings, dark hollowed out deep eye sockets, and finally a mouth opening to show my grin that represents the pleasure I feel when I’m slicing flesh and piercing eye balls. I don this holy relic, for I’m a priest of the church of all horrors.. Ready to baptize all of humanity in blood and gore. Yessss..

When she finally woke up, she woke up to one HELL OF A SITE STARING AT HER. Well let’s just say I have never heard screams that loud before… Hah. Good thing nobody can hear us this far down in the basement.. Solid concrete wall. Well I decided to get started. I brought allot more than just my mask, I brought several types of cutting tools and saw’s. You see, you may be surprised to learn that I’m actually going to keep her alive for as long as I can.. Because I’m going to SLOWLY saw off pieces of her every single day, yup for DAYS. I then proceeded to indulge… The following week exists as a foggy red haze in my mind.. It was as if someone or something else has taken control, and I was just watching from the back seat. All I can see is blood splattering on the wall and floor, fingers and appendages lopping off and strung about, guttural primal screams… Almost animalistic. Bones and veins broken and sliced open in the most brutal way, still she did not die somehow, “unfortunately” for her. Was it her will power? Was I careful enough to not do lethal damage? I have no idea. But by the end of that week… Poor Danniele and I had finally something in common. We both were no longer human, but in her case she was reduced to a twitching, mangled, eviscerated, stump of pulsating living meat. What I was staring at on top of that blood caked table, was not a human being.. Not anymore. IT, was nothing more than a crime and effrontery against all life made form. 

I didn’t just butcher it.

I didn’t just take it apart.

I UNMADE IT. 

It… Was beautiful. 

HAH.

HAHA.

HAHAHAHAHA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The best part about it all? I’m just getting started! There are thousands more prey out there to UNMAKE. Now that I have mastered my craft, and learned to hone and slow down my kill. Each death will be more violent and visceral than the last, I have lost myself to the madness and insanity that has consumed everything that ever made me human at all. This world will run red covered by the oceans of blood that I will create. With hatred as my fuel, chaos my envoy, and death my mistress. Hell on Earth is coming, and I will be its harbinger. I will be-

“Please I can’t take it anymore…”

“Please.. Kill me..”

“Let me die…”

Well… Miss Danniele(if you could still call this miserable pathetic creature that name) muttered to me, which was a surprise that she could even talk with half her jaw missing. Aww she yearned for the sweet release of death, I found it amusing. I walked over to her, leaned in closer to her face and looked her in the eyes and said “YOU WOULD LOVE THAT WOULDN’T YOU? Well who said I was done being a good neighbor to you? Maybe we can still have some more fun! What do you have to say about that?”

Nothing. 

She said nothing, but a single blood soaked tear rolled down her face and hit the table. I froze, and felt this sharp stabbing feeling in my chest.. I felt.. Guilt.. I felt cold and empty. It’s that feeling again, my curse.. The curse of humanity. My eyes start to water again, all my hate and blood lust dissipates. I just feel crushing sadness, I feel bad for IT… For her.. I can hear that voice in my head, screaming at me. How could I have done this? What have I done to this poor girl?! What is wrong with me? Why does it have to be this way?! Why didn’t my parents love me?! Why didn’t anyone help me?! WHY WAS I FUCKING BORN?! ARGHH!!!! WHY GODDAMNIT! In my grief stricken mindset, where I felt human for the fist time in a long time. I told poor Danniele…

“I’m sorry.”

The only thing I can do for her now, is give her that sweet release after all. The one Mercy I can do.. I put a bag over her head and held it there as hard as I could. Until she stopped breathing and moving.. She was finally free from this cursed world, she was free from me. I stared at her lifeless corpse for a moment, silently walked up the stairs with my gear, showered, cleaned everything with bleach, locked the door behind me from her house, and headed home. When I got home and closed the door behind me, I put my stuff away, I laid on the floor…

And cried like a baby for hours.

I rocked back and forth, wailing like an infant ripped away from their mother. 

________________________________

Memory Flashback:

When I was 15, after years of torture and abuse.. I saw that they were passed out in the living room probably high and drunk. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen, went up to their barely alive corpses and put the knives to their throats.. Finally it could be over. All it would take is one slash, for me to finally be free. I hesitate.. Tears rolling down my face. They deserve to die, it ends here! Then I hear a voice, a raspy low weak voice.. Its them, in their barley conscious blacked out stupor they mutter.. “Go on, do it, put us out of our misery… So that we can finally be proud of you.”

…

I drop the knives and walk away. 

Sorry mom and dad, but I rather disappoint you.

I don’t want to kill you. Nor do I want you to die.

You don’t deserve to be out of your misery. 

You both deserve to live forever as you are.

For that is so much worse than death.

And you deserve it ALL. 

…

________________________________

My entire life played in my mind over and over again.. I wondered, if I had been raised different, if I had been raised with love and tenderness. Could I have been different? Could I have actually been a human being? Maybe I might not have become a hate filled monster. Maybe I could have become someone else, someone people care about. They say hurt people, hurt people. I have been hurt, and I have hurt others in return. I’m guilty, but I was not alone in my crime. This world molded me into this, and I ask myself.

Was I meant to be a monster or a man?

I have those two conflicting sides of me, but in the end there can only be one. 

It was time I finally found out what I was meant to be.

I got up, grabbed a power drill and turned it on. 

I put the drill bit directly to my forehead, with my finger on the trigger. 

They say..

“Every monster was once a man.”

Let’s see which one is left when I’m done.

*Click*