73. Sometimes I Look Up At The Stars

 

Sometimes I look up at the stars.

They seem so far away.

But also like they are right in front of me.

When I look up at them.

It’s like I’m connected to them.

It’s like I was them once.

Maybe I was the stars.

Maybe we all were.

All these eons humanity has looked up at the stars, because that is where we came from.

The stars are where our hopes and dreams reside, where we wish upon a star.

The stars are where our passed away loved ones look down on us from the heavens, waiting for us…

The stars are where our atoms and other natural elements came from, we literally have elements born of stars within us.

One might say..

We are the children of the stars.

.

I swear it’s like the stars speak to me, they want to show me so much.

The stars show us our past and future.

They show who we once were and will be again.

They show us our true home.

I always heard that many of the stars we see in the sky are long gone, and that we just see their light eons later. 

But they are not gone, they have just evolved into their next form. They have become something new. Their energy never died, it just changed. 

And their light is their final gift to us, even millions of years later.

Their love and light still twinkles at us, letting us know they are always with us. 

…

So when I look up at the stars.

I’m looking into a reflection in the mirror.

I see myself. I see the universe.

Because I am the universe.

We all are. 🌌

_________________________________

This blog was inspired by the loss of our beloved pet fish Oscar. He may have been small and our time brief, but he meant so much to us still..

Rest In Peace Kato. 

6/15/26 - 8/21/26

“Remember Kato” - Tupac

72. Wait For Me

 

(Disclaimer: This is a totally fictional story with real life inspirations)

Here I stand, looking down at their tombstones..

Then it all comes back to me. 

I remember them. 

All three of them.

My grandfather.

My uncle. 

And my cousin. 

I think back.

The memories…

I remember when my grandfather held me as a pouting crying baby. He always knew how to calm me down.

I remember when my uncle played pool with me in his own personal bar. I like to think I did okay hah.

I remember when I used to play basket ball with my cousin and friends. I was so bad at it, but it was fun.

I remember when my grandfather and us kids use to wrestle all the time. He’d win of course.

I remember when my uncle snuck me my first beer at a family party, when my parents weren’t looking. It was awful. 

I remember when my cousin and us used to play video games online for hours together. She was pretty good for a girl we would tell her hah.

I remember when my grandfather bought me my first bike, that I had just learned to use. It was way too big, but I appreciated it anyways. 

I remember when my uncle took us kids to theme parks, and got us fast passes to go on all the rides. We would pass out from exhaustion at the end of the day, it was a blast. 

I remember when my cousin encouraged me to talk to a girl I liked. Which I did and I got rejected of course, but they were there for me and commended me for my bravery. 

And so much more..

…

And most of all..

I remember the days that I lost them. 

I remember the death of old age and failing health that took my grandfather.

I remember the cancer that took my uncle.

I remember the car accident that took my cousin. 

I remember it all, but I wish I didn’t. 

Sometimes I wish I was with them… Whenever they are. 

You see… 

They may be gone, but it is only their mortal shell that is gone. 

Though all things may end one day.

They will never end, just the flesh. 

Their souls.

The mark they left on the world.

Their memories.

Those are Eternal and ever lasting. 

So instead of focusing on the sad thoughts of them not physically being here.

I smile and think of the incredible joy and wonders I experienced and will experience when I see them again. 

Because we will meet again. 

Our relationships, our connections.. They transcend this brief life. 

God has given me the gift of feeling the love and warmth that my three family members gave me. And I’m forever grateful. 

Just as he had called them home, to their true home. Where they are waiting for me.. 

One might say I never lost them, they just ascended to a new reality. Somewhere new, somewhere better.

I put down the flowers that I got them, and then I look out into the cloudy horizon..

…

You know.. 

Its funny.

Maybe I lost my mind from grief.

Or maybe they actually came to visit me.

But I swear I can still see them.. 

Standing out there right on the edge of the horizon over some rocky cliffs. 

They are far away.. But I can tell its them, I know its them. They look so happy, smiling and so full of life.. Like they are glowing.

Waving at me.. Heh. 

Hey.

Don’t worry you three. 

Soon. 

When it is my time, I will join you.

But that day is not today.

Just do me one last favor my beloved Grandfather, Uncle, and Cousin.

As I wave back, I whisper..

“Wait for me.”