I was to be a God..
Everlasting.
Forever.
ETERNAL.
But it went wrong.. Actually, it’s worse.
It went right.
What is the saying again?
Be careful what you wish for.
Because you might just get it…
…
My name is Zane.
Or at least it was.
I have no need for a name where I am now.
And because that person died a long time ago.
All that is left is a nameless empty shell of a man.. Nothing.
Me.
You see, long ago…
It all started as a research trial, they called it “Project: Immortal Humanity”.
The company running this trial was called ‘Athanatos Pharmaceuticals’.
This mysterious company wanted to play God, they wanted power beyond all measure. But it was all Hersey and conspiracies.. Well turns out that really was the case, they actually invested allot into researching immortality and invulnerability.
After decades of research, trillions of dollars, and MANY unethical experiments.. They finally created the prototype immortality serum. A single injectable dose of the most powerful medicine ever made.
One that would allow you to live until the end of time and beyond.
Now they just needed a final test subject.
They opened it to the public… A billion people applied.
Why wouldn’t they apply? Who wouldn’t want to live FOREVER? I saw it all over the news, and I immediately applied! But with such an infinitesimally small chance of getting selected.. I didn’t have high hopes.
I think I would have had a better chance winning the money lottery a hundred times over, than winning this one to be honest.
They tested and interviewed us all, they had to have the perfect person. Of sound mind, body… AND purpose.
We all got very in depth physical’s, literally everything was checked. If even a single number on a blood test, weight scale, or Goddamn piss test was off.. You were immediately disqualified.
After many months of grueling testing.. The billion applicants were eventually narrowed down to a thousand. Against all odds.. I was one of them.
Only one of us thousand applicants would live forever.
The interview was the final step. We all got interviewed one at a time.
They asked us one simple question.. Why? Why do you want this serum? They give us a heads up.. Honesty trumps any “good sounding” answer. Just be upfront and honest they said.
Hundreds were interviewed and said many different reasons.. Some wanted to be around to see the entire world to absolute completion, some wanted to see their descendants grow, some just wanted to survive their cancer they had, others wanted to live to have a mansion on Pluto, and others said they just wanted to party forever.
Trivial and short sited reasons in my opinion and not worthy of this gift, I thought.. What a waste it would be on these fools.
Then it was my turn to be interviewed, they called me into the lab and asked me the destined question..
Why?
I pondered this question for months.. My thought was always… Why do I? Why do I really want this?
…
I know why.
So I answered them… Honestly.
“BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A GOD.”
“I WANT TO BE EVERLASTING.”
“I’M DESTINED TO BE HUMANITY FINALLY PERFECTED. THE FINAL EVOLUTION OF MAN, MADE FORM.”
“Give me this immortality serum, and I swear I will be all that you hoped for AND MORE.”
“I will be the embodiment of death finally CURED. A living breathing everlasting supreme being.”
“That is why I want to live forever.”
The room was completely silent for what seemed like an eternity.
The interviewer grinned, and said thank you for your time. We will be in contact with you soon.
Oh God did I mess up? What was I thinking saying that crazy shit?! There is no way they wanted to hear that crackpot rant. I was just being honest… I may have lost my chance.
I lost the right to be a God. I know it..
Weeks would go by and they wrapped up the interviews. The final selections were underway. This was it..
The results were announced on national news. The winner was…
I clenched my fist, please God let me win!
“Benjamin from New York City!”
No… It can’t be. It’s over, I lost. I was absolutely crushed.
Some nobody won the right to be a God, and stole it from me.. I slammed my fist against the wall. My hopes and dreams gone..
I went into a deep dark depression, I just shut down..
The winner paraded in the streets and was fawned over by everyone like they were a war hero, they partied like it was new year’s eve on Time square.
They were to be injected with the immortality serum immediately the next day. But today was the day they celebrated.
Benjamin.. You don’t deserve this gift, you didn’t want it half as much as I did. Go to hell…
You false God.
I went to bed defeated beyond words and had the worst nightmare of my life.. I was floating in this giant infinite void, completely dark and empty. It stretched into infinity, and I was just there all alone..
I screamed and yelled for what seemed like forever, and nothing happened. It was torture, no it was worse… It was nothing.
Nothing at all.
…
Then I jolted awake! My phone was ringing.. It was day time, bright and sunny..
What a strange nightmare. I have never had a dream like that, I hope I never experience that one ever again.
I look at my ringing phone and see.. ITS ATHANATOS PHARMACEUTICAL, THE COMPANY THAT MADE THE IMMORTALITY SERUM!
I quickly answered the phone and said hello, the person on the other end asked is this Zane? I said yes! They said well today is your lucky day Zane, you are next in line to receive the immortality serum! We need you to come in immediately. I was shocked!
WHAT?! Wait, but I thought Benjamin won the serum?! The man on the other end chuckled, and said.. Oh you haven’t seen the news? He committed suicide last night.
What.
Then he said, which means he is now disqualified and you are now the new winner! You need to come in NOW. To say that I was dumbfounded and speechless, would be the understatement of the year. I didn’t even attempt to try and think about it, I immediately rushed up, got dressed up and headed out.
I told him I was on my way..
I would not keep my destiny waiting.
I arrived at the Athanatos Pharmaceuticals lab, there was a small army guarding and patrolling the entire area. This place took no chances, it was very unsettling.. But after passing the checkpoints, I went in.
They had me set up and ready to inject within minutes, the smiling doctor asked me if I’m excited? I said of course, I couldn’t wait to do this honestly! I was ecstatic! But at the back of my mind.. I couldn’t shake this curiosity. I just had to ask..
What happened to Benjamin? Why did he commit suicide? He won the contest! He was literally partying and parading that SAME DAY! What gives..?
The doctor’s smile disappeared, and he looked to his right and left to make sure it was clear and he slowly leaned in towards my right ear and said…
“I’m not supposed be telling you any of this, I can get into allot of trouble. But last night the company heads had a talk with Benjamin, after all the partying was over. They had to specify and clarify all the…. Long term risks of the immortality serum. They told him what could happen later..
Trillions of years later.”
Wait did you just say… Trillions?
“The truth is, he didn’t really win the contest. It was a secret final test. Between the last two chosen people, you Zane and Benjamin. He was chosen because in his interview he had purely altruistic reasons why he wanted the immortality serum, he wanted to do good, righteous, and noble acts. He was a pure selfless person who wanted to dedicate his life to helping humanity forever, that is why we chose him for the first choice, we needed a good person. And we chose you for the second choice…
Because you wanted to be a God…
Because you are nothing like Benjamin.
You are the opposite of what he was.
Well after we told him the risks, he evidently didn’t take hearing the knowledge very well at all. So when he went home to prepare for the next day’s injection, we surmise due to the colossal pressure he felt, instead of disappointing the entire world with just declining the serum.. He picked up a shot gun, put it in his mouth and shot himself. He left a short blood soaked note that said:
_________________________________
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do it.
Living forever is not a blessing, it’s a curse.
Even death is better than to live until there is nothing left.
Nothing at all. -Benjamin”
_________________________________
But we told the media he must have gotten too drunk or high from the partying, and was playing with a gun and accidentally shot himself. Thus, he failed the test. Making you the official winner” The doctor concluded.
Jesus Christ.. I don’t know what to say, poor guy. But if he was too weak and couldn’t handle this gift, then it should be given to someone who can, like me!
The doctor responded… “Indeed, there is one last thing we told him that I should probably tell you..”
And what's that I asked?
“That you will get everything you asked for.
At the end of Oblivion. Good luck…”
The doctor said as he walked out the room.
Huh?? I was so confused, and honestly in a bit of a haze from everything. Nervous, doesn’t even begin to describe it. I will admit.. The vile heretical thought crossed my mind to not do this, but the fire I had inside to ascend to where no man has ever, was far too great!
The full research team came in and did the final preparations, my heart was pounding the entire time.. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. I’m going to be the most famous person in history! I will be the next Jesus! I can’t wait!
As I laid there, they all loomed over me and asked one final time.. Do I consent to this procedure? To receiving the immortality serum?
…
I said yes, they had me sign some documents and we were all ready.
I was ready.
They brought it out this large metal temperature controlled box.. and pulled put the serum, it was yellow and almost glowing gold.. They put it into a syringe and proceeded to inject me as I lay on the bed.
I can feel it enter my body, and the injector empty. Then my body starts to feel strange, my entire body starts burning.. It hurts so bad, it’s like my entire atomic structure is changing. Something within me is changing vastly..
I start convulsing, my vision blurs, all the researchers are panicking and rushing to tend to me.. I feel like my pounding heart is going to explode, I’m sweating bullets.. I think I’m dying..
Hah what a cruel irony that would be…
But no, something far WORSE than death is happening to me. I go in and out from consciousness.. First I see the lab people panicking, then it goes all black.. I’m there… In that endless empty void again.. All alone, like in my nightmare. INFINITE NOTHINGNESS. My eyes open, I’m in the lab, I close my eyes I’m in the nothingness again.. In and out, I go repeatedly….
Then it stops.. I’m in that void, just floating there. It’s so quiet and empty, I’m waiting any second to wake up again.. But it doesn’t happen?!? What is this?! How do I get out of here????? I start to panic, looking everywhere and just seeing nothingness.
There is nothing here.
I fall into despair and weep.. Then I look out into the distance and see a small tiny light, like the size of a pea in the distance.. I wonder what that is…? It seems to be coming closer, like it’s growing. I reach out to it with my right hand, almost there.. So close.
So.. Close.
Fina-
***JOLT***
I suddenly wake up with a powerful jolt! It’s the researchers! They flash lights in my eyes, check my pulse and about every other test known to man. I’m groggy, out of it and have a pounding headache, but I’m alive.. Emphasis on that last part.
I asked what happened? They said I was having an extremely rough reaction to the chemical bonding process. But they believe it was successful.
This is it, I have it within me. As far as I can tell.. I’m now immortal. I can’t believe it, I will never die.
Never.
I feel… Different. I feel… Nothing.
Over the course of a couple of weeks, Athanatos Pharmaceuticals monitors and performs numerous tests to see the success of the experiment.
I agree to it all, I wanted to know about my new form. I wanted to know it all.
Well… Turns out they succeeded. More than they could ever have fathomed.
With extensive testing done, they revealed that I was immortal… IN ALL POSSIBLE ASPECTS.
I could never die of hunger, thirst, injury, lack of oxygen, old age, or disease of ANY KIND.
My atomic structure was altered to be essentially invincible, it was like I had the body of superman. Almost nothing could hurt me.
And the small amount of damage they could do with extreme measures was nano scopic, I would instantly regenerate. My cells could never know true degradation..
For all intents and purposes… No known terrestrial means could kill me.
I don’t even think a nuke could end me.
Hmm… Is that good? I thought. I don’t know.
There was a subtle unexpected downside..
I was made infertile.
I had become life incarnate.. But I can never create NEW life, only prolong this one forever. How unfortunate. Sad.
Anyways, the company was baffled! The experiment was a resounding success! One might say.. Too successful.
It truly and honestly worked.. But now what though?
Well turns out for Athanatos Pharmaceuticals..
Eternal life is bad for business, especially in the Pharmaceutical field.
They were so obsessed with trying to find out if they COULD, that they didn’t stop to think if they SHOULD.
Not to mention, all those trillions spent and hundreds of unethical unspeakable experiments.. There were expose-says, lawsuits, and whistleblowers..
They were exposed as eugenicists that wanted to create a new race of superior immortal super humans that would kill off humanity as we know it. They would be like God’s walking the Earth… Forever.
The world found out what kind of insane monsters they were, and took them down.
The company that sought out eternal life.. Was brought down by its own hubris. It’s life and its executives.. Extinguished.
Athanatos Pharmaceuticals was no more.
But not me.. I was still there. Their greatest success and mistake. Their twisted vision… Brought to fruition.
…
…
…
That was 1,000,000,000,000/Trillion years ago..
You see..
In that time I saw the end of humanity. I witnessed the last person die in my arms of old age.
Her name was Eve, and I loved her.. She was all I had left of the life I once knew.
Her last words were.. “God willing, someway somehow… I hope I see you again. Good bye my love.”
I saw all life on Earth end. Not even germs or bacteria were left. Just rock and dust..
I was there when the sun went supernova and obliterated earth and the rest of the solar system.. I somehow survived. It was very painful and traumatic, but I recovered instantly. Not even the sun or the vacuum of space could kill me..
Eventually after so long.
I saw all the stars and galaxies die..
The universe itself was dying.
Those Goddamned FOOLS at Athanatos Pharmaceutical had no idea what they created! They had no idea what horror they brought upon existence..
I don’t know what deal they must have made with the Devil..
But they succeeded in creating an abomination, a monster that would outlive them and everything else… EVER. Me.
It was as if my existence was tearing apart all of reality.. I had become a living cancer to this universe. A wrong thing, something that shouldn’t be.
An affront to God and nature itself.
And all this time, I was just there floating in space all alone….. For EONS.
Could you even begin to imagine that horror? To witness all that you have ever known or will ever know, die?
To be left alone with nothing and nobody..
Because that's where I have been…
For a TRILLION years.
The only company I have had is the decaying atoms around me and my own thoughts… In the heat death of the Universe.
The torture of having to ponder my own hubris and bad choices for all eternity.
The thought of never being able to be free from this realm, to never know heavenly paradise.. Screw it, I think I would take even Hell at this point!
Because this is WORSE than Hell. At least I wouldn’t be alone anymore, and feeling pain… Doesn’t compare to feeling nothing at all.
Throughout the Eons.. I have tried to end my life in anyway possible and I mean ANYWAY.. In vain.
I have slashed and teared at my flesh and body. Nothing, it didn’t even hurt.
I have violently bashed my skull against a city sized asteroid in space for TEN THOUSAND YEARS straight until IT not I, was reduced to dust.
I have thrown myself into stars and black holes I drifted by.. For billions of years I burned, stuck in their gravitational field. My entire body mangled and obliterated in all the worst and painful ways imaginable… Only when the stars died and went supernova, was I ejected from them. Or the black holes evaporated from Hawking radiation…
I regenerated from it all.
Even. From. A. Single.
ATOM.
I can’t even have the tiny mercy of going insane or losing my mind with dementia, Alzheimer’s or whatever other mind destroying illness. My brain is also immune to all damage or decay..
No… There is no easy way out for me, I’m experiencing this all in its entirety. Clear as day and of sound mind and body…
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS BODY.
AND I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS DEAD HOLLOW UNIVERSE.
I just want to scream!
I have a mouth, and I must scream.
But what would be the point? There is nothing and nobody left in the entire universe to even hear it.
There’s nothing here.
The worst part about it all.. Is that I got all that I wanted. I asked for this.
I wanted to ascend beyond any human ever, I wanted to be EVERLASTING.
I wanted to be a GOD!
AND I AM.
I’m the God of Oblivion.
The ruler of nothing.
*10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 / GOOGOL YEARS LATER*
Nothing at all…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
*Twinkle*
What… What is that?
There's a light? Can’t be, all there is left is darkness and emptiness?
Its growing.. Expanding. Vast and bright, full of cosmic life.
Coming closer at extreme speeds.
What the..
My God… Is this.
The Big Bang…?
A new universe is being born.
It’s…
It’s so beautiful..
*I reach out my right hand towards it as it approaches fast*
So beautiful.
So….. Beautiful.
…
Finally.
.