7. Something Missing

Have you ever had that feeling... That something is missing from your life?

I cannot shake it, the feeling is like a void in my stomach.

I'm tortured by it.. Who or what are you?

It is like an itch, that feels like it can never be scratched. A truth that can never be told, because nobody knows what it is, most of all...

Me.

The more I attempt to solve this mystery, the more I feel the missing part of me burn, as if it were an open wound.

For all my progress, all my struggles, and all that I have accomplished.. I still feel incomplete.

What more do I have to do?

What more do you want?!

Even as I hold in my grasp, the very embodiment of my hard work.. I still feel empty, in fact, even more empty then I was before. It might as well...

Be nothing.

I am nothing.

That is a painful truth to swallow. They say the truth will set you free, but that truth just tightens the shackles that binds my soul. I cant help but ask... Why me?

But.

I must persevere. The sweet release of surrender, is not a luxury that I'm allowing myself. Life is about the great mystery, life is about conflict.

To live life to the fullest, you must know pain.

I may never find that missing part of my being, but that doesn't matter, all that does matter..

 Is that I try.

We all fear... Being on our death beds, lamenting on the failures and regrets that permeates our lives.

But it is about time we all realized, our failures and regrets, are what helped make our lives whole. For as much as we hate them, they are inevitable... Do not just fight them, embrace them.

The God of us all is complete absolute perfection, and he made us in his image. But the difference is, while he is a eternally complete puzzle, we are born with only one single piece of our puzzle. We than spend the rest of our lives, trying to find the other pieces, so that we can be complete.

I still have many pieces of my puzzle to find.. So many. But what other choice do I have? I refuse to die incomplete, no matter how hard life makes it.

Though I have endured so much hard ship, and will endure so much more. I will not yield, only my premature death will give me pause.

I will not settle for a few pieces.

I will not live with this cursed void within me.

I will scour everyone and everything, until I am complete. The prize, that sweet reward will make all the pain worth it. One day, at long last...

I will have everything.

I am everything.

Until then I must keep going. Though the piece of me that is missing, is still a bleeding wound, it will not break me. If I have to turn my entire life upside down and make it anew, I will do it... If that is what it takes.

But I can only wait and see, the universe has always been unpredictable, that is what makes it special. A great quest lays before me, before us all. For it is not just me who must search, but you as well.

There will be many sacrifices we will have to make, but let us walk together, so that we may all taste true salvation one day.

Yes.

There is something missing within me.

I do not know what it is.

But I can tell you what it is not.

My indomitable heart and spirit.