14. So Nearly Free

I slam my fist on the cold floor.. I was... So Nearly Free.

The door of destiny and life, slammed shut right in front of me. Seemingly locked for all eternity.

An endless black void has engulfed all that I know and love.

I stand there in despair, defeated and discouraged.

My hope for a brighter day, extinguished like a candles flame.

Why must this happen to me? What could I have done wrong?

Am I just not worthy of a brighter tomorrow?

The torturing thoughts flood my mind, as if I were drowning.

The endless void of darkness, starts to surround me..

I see wretched withered hands with sharp claws, emerge from the blackness.. Reaching for me, closer and closer.

There is no escape for me, I can not run, I can not hide. All I can do now... Is die.

I never thought it would end like this, then.. Who ever does? We don't pick the way we die, death does.

In my final moments, I lament my life and how I ended up here.

I think, what could I have done differently? Maybe.. There could have been a happy ending. But it is too late now..

There is nothing I can do.

I am nothing.

This is it..

The end.

NO.

There is still hope, no matter how dark it gets.. There is always a ray of hope, even in the darkest void.

I may not have done everything right, I may not have made the best choices. But I know deep inside that my heart is one of love.

If the cold dark void means to consume me, then so be it, but not without a fight.

I will not let you break me.

I stand tall, ready to face the cold oblivion that hungers for our lives. If I must die, I will die on my feet.. I will die a man.

Come and get me.

Just as the black monstrous hands were about to plunge their rotten nails into my body.

Suddenly, the door in front of me... Opens.

A blinding bright light illuminates everything around me.

The darkness and those foul hands, are bathed in this warming light.

I can hear a loud inhuman scream from all around me, as if some creature was in immense pain.

The darkness recedes, those vile hands burn and turn into ash.

I can see it.. Within this door, I can see it all.

Hope.

Salvation.

Paradise.

I can see everything.

I am everything.

I put my guard down, its all going to be alright now.

I know now.. Its so clear to me. It doesn't matter what choices or decisions you made in life, or if they were right or wrong.

What matters is what you did with those decisions.

And how you let them effect your life.

We all have regrets and things we wish didn't happen, but that's what makes us who we are.. That's what makes us human.

We don't always do the right thing, and that's okay..

We just need to try.

Try to for everyone, but most importantly.. Try for yourself.

I stand there, peering into this door. There it is, at long last.. A perfect paradise dimension.

I smile, and start making my way there.

Just before I enter.

I whisper these final words..

So nearly free.