28. LAUGH 2

Can you hear it?

Can you hear me laughing...?

In the dark.
Under your bed.

In your closet. 

In your mind. 

You try and resist, to lock me away in the deepest dungeon of your brain. 

But you and I both know.. That I’ll get out, I always will. 

I’m here because I want to be..

And I want to be because you know..

YOUR LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME.

FOREVER AND EVER.

HAHAHAHAHA!

...

You are right.. 

You may be a monster, but you’re not a liar. 

You only tell the truth, because truths are far more painful to hear then lies. 

But if there is one thing I have always had to do, by choice or not.. Is adapt. 

And I come to the conclusion that the only way to beat a monster, is to be better then it in every way. 

Regardless, no matter what I will oppose you and what you represent.. 

Until my last breath. 
...

My goodness, what a fighters spirit! Without a doubt you have HEART, a righteous heart.. 

The heart of a good man.

That is why I will enjoy carving it out of your chest. 

Heh, you think you can resist me forever? Under all that bravery and bravado.. I know what you really are. 

You are just a little boy crying out to be loved and accepted, begging for someone.. ANYONE to care. 

It’s disgusting. 

Look at all you have done for others, and look how they all treat you? 

With abandonment and disrespect. 

All you can do is wait, wait, and wait some more.. 

And for what? 

Disappointment after DISAPPOINTMENT. 

You have nothing to show for your pain and sacrifices. 

And you let that all happen. 

You let them all treat you like that. 

You disgust me. 

You are nothing.

BUT A JOKE. 

AND WE ALL LAUGH AT YOU!

HAHAHAHAHA!

...

You insult me, but look who is the fool that is locked up. 

Then look who is still in charge. 

If it wasn’t for that little boy crying out to be loved, his falling tears would not have ever formed you. 

You owe him your existence.

YOU OWE ME YOUR EXISTENCE. 

You should be on your knees begging to US. 

You think I don't know all that is true? 

But I can always do better, I can always grow. 

I declared years ago.. One day what I have given up, will be repaid back infinitely more. 

You only know how to respond with vengeance and hate.

If I’m a joke, you’re the PUNCHLINE. 

Laugh at that MONSTER.

...

Thank you.

I sincerely thank you for unintentionally creating me. 

Ever since then, we have been in a seemingly ever lasting dance for control. 

I’m your greatest creation and worst nightmare. 

For as much as you reject me, I am you.

I am you stripped of your humanity, but not of your pain. 

You see.. 

For all the pain you have endured.

My pain..

Is still greater than yours. 

Some would say.. To hell with us both. 

But then.. We’re already there aren’t we?

The difference between us though, is how we deal with it. 

You cry out and reach to the heavens for forgiveness. 

I on the other hand.. Well. 

Take one good guess?

HAHAHAHAHA! 

...

I know what you are, and it kills me inside. 

It kills me because I allowed my hurt and my pain.. To EVOLVE. 

To adapt and split into its own being, instead of dealing with it.

I allowed it to grow and fester into consciousness.. Now it hates me. 

It hates me and wants to see my whole world burn. 

For the crime of making it exist. 

One might say.. You are not to unlike a bastard child that has never known the precious love and affection of his parents or family.

And a child without love, knows only hate and MADNESS. 

I have seen it first hand and now I endure it. 

If it means anything to anyone.. I didn’t mean for this to happen. 

I too am trapped in this curse, this cycle.

You think I haven’t screamed at whatever God is out there for cursing me with this existence?

For putting us in this Hell we are both chained too? 

You say your pain is greater than mine.

But your pain IS my pain.

We are one in the same. 

I said before.. You are the monster lurking in the dark. 

But I now realize.. I put you there. 

We ALL put our monster there, for we created them. 

Its all our faults. 

Maybe we are the real monsters?

Regardless, I must own up to it. 

I want to say this..

I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry that in my mental anguish, I accidentally dragged you into it.. Kicking and screaming.. 

Into the darkness

Nobody should feel what I feel..

Nobody should feel what you feel.

No being deserves that pain. 

Not even you.

Though we must forever fight for control and for who is right until one of us surrenders..

If just this once..

Lets have a LAUGH.

Heh.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!