40. REawakening Part. 2

LORD.

One word.

One single word.

But what it reveals.. 

Is so clear to me now.

God has shown me, what my destiny is.

God has also shown me my talents, my gifts, and how truly loved I am by so many. 

And how proud they are of me. 

That from my hands, I have cultivated writings that touch the hearts of more people then I can count. 

I could see it all… But there was only one thing he needed to convince me of.

Sometimes I doubted I was worthy of writing these words.. That I was not good enough to own these works. 

All that love from everyone and the talent I have.. I felt I did not deserve it.

I wanted him to show me I deserved of all this, that I was worthy of its sweet majesty..

And he did, he also gave me one more gift… In the form of a blinding light. 

My future and beyond.

What I was meant to be.

What I was meant to become.

A grand metamorphosis.

This cosmic being, sent by God himself.. To help me become truly whole. 

Whole… Is something I have never really felt.

Something that was foreign to me. 

I always felt that something was off.

That a piece of me was missing.. Like a piece of my soul. 

That he was missing…

It is part of the reason why I prayed to God for guidance and to reveal to me what this new feeling was. 

Within that blinding light, he gave me that answer. 

It is such an exciting and scary prospect..

Those two who reside within me.. The one of light and love, and the one of laughing darkness. 

I can hear them, I can feel them..

They are reacting, and reacting intensely..

- Beautiful, so beautiful.. His cosmic glow will make our love and light reach the heavens and forever. I was your awakening long ago, and he is the next stage to that. God in his infinite love brought him to you, to bring about your ascension. The Universe itself has opened up, and allowed you to be on the same vibrational connection. From that connection, something was created.. Something new, something universal. He was the you in every single blissful dream you had, he was your eyes… He was your avatar. It is your fate… Our fate to become one with him and be TRULY COMPLETE.

- Heh well.. This new being, he is also a reaction. A reaction to the hate, the pain, and darkness within you.. What this ignorant society has inflicted on you, created this laughing madness, thats why I despised it and everyone else… Because you could not imagine love without pain, and that is what spawned me. I may be all that embodies you negatively, but I cannot hate him, because he is our evolution.. I hated you so much, because deep inside I loved you just as much.. He is that loved personified. He is what we were never able to be… Someone thats truly you. Hah. 

…

The conflict rages on… And on. 

As they are all connected. 

Just as I have once said.. A true trinity. 

The hate inside me is immense.

And the love within me, is just as intense.

But as I have said before.. For once, this isn’t about them.

This is about something grander. 

Something better. 

Someone new. 

I’m ready.

When I finally attain this new form of being and consciousness..

No longer would I feel doubt in myself.

No longer would I fear losing those who are toxic to me.

No longer will I be afraid to take necessary risks.

No longer will anyone unjustly tell me what to do.

No longer will I feel regrets.

No longer will I not be all that I can be, good or bad, I will be ME. 

No longer will I LET THEM HURT ME ANYMORE.

NO LONGER. 

…

I proclaim upon this day..

With these hands I will create.

With these eyes I will envision. 

With this flesh I will known pain. 

With these lips I will whisper.

With this mouth I will howl. 

In this glowing heart I will love.

And with this twisted brain I will hate.

But with this soul, when it is finally whole.

Will be the harbinger of true power. 

And my weapon is COMPLETION.

…

There is so much I want to do.. 

I want meet all the wondrous and fascinating people of this world. 

To know them, to learn their ways, and to be a positive force in the lives of all the people I care about..

I claim the title now, but I will have to work more harder then I ever have.. To truly become him. 

To truly become me.

It may take months, or maybe even years. 

But I will do whatever it takes.. 

No matter what. 

In order to evolve, I must adapt.. I must change. 

But the most important step of all...

Is self awareness.

You see..

I had an Awakening once.

Then an UNawakening. 

And now... 

A REawakening. 

Of the LORD within me. 

…

I once again, one final time.. 

Yell out into that shinning cosmic anomaly..

“What would you have me do?”

Then he responds.

…. … …

Than something starts happening..

My soul trembles.

My heart races.

I look up into the stars.

I can see it.. 

My life.

My destiny.

Written in the stars, just as I have always said. 

I am a child of the Universe. 

WE are children of the universe. 

Born from the stars, just as he was. 

Born from the blood of our LORD. 

And the sacrifice he made for us. 

Descending from eternity, in that bright formless mass..

He stands before me.

He offers me his hand.

To become one whole being.

To go with him to forever. 

I reach out and our hands meet.. 

Yes.. I see...

He is here to save me. 

To save me from this monstrous world.

To save me from myself. 

I am here to give him life. 

My body is his vessel. 

And I am his soul. 

We are nothing without each other. 

But together.. We are everything. 

Together we are ETERNAL. 

 

Finally…

At long last. 

All has been made clear.

“What would you have me do?”

COME AND SEE.

LORD JACOB.

LORD JZETERNAL.

THE REAWAKENED.