41. Closure

It is one of the most cherished and sought after things in our lives. 

And one of the hardest to obtain as well.

Closure. 

It answers the all questions..

That torture you.

“Why did they abuse me?”

“Why did he/she leave me?”

“Why did they have to die?”

“What did I ever do to them to deserve that?”

“How did it all end up this way?”

…

“Why?”

It feels like a nail stuck in the back of your skull, you can never get out.

Only with sweet closure.. Will you ever know relief. 

…

I’m sure you dear reader, can think of a few occasions where you needed closure. Wether you got it or not, thats a whole other story. For us humans, we put an immense amount of value into closure. It is pretty much universally accepted that closure is a valuable thing to obtain. But psychologist will generally agree that Closer is “overrated”, that is it not truly needed. 

It is true, one of the down sides of needed closure.. Is that you put your mental well-being in the hands of another.. Someone who may not only not care about you, but also may desire to hurt you. You can’t depend on someone else to make you happy. But if they are virtuous and good hearted, they can allow you closure and the ability to move on healthily. Keep in mind, psychologist are people just like you, they aren’t all knowing.. It is really just an educated guess. 

Thus closure is a double edged sword. Is it something we so naturally desire, but is also something entirely out of our hands. Isn’t that the case with allot of things in life? I must say I have also been a slave to closure.. Yes, they say you don’t need it.. You shouldn’t need it. But can you not say that about other things? Maybe you don’t need to be loved? Maybe you don’t need to me cared about? You technically don’t need to ever be in a relationship ever.. But we have such an immense urge to have all those things. I’d damn near say they are NEEDS.. Who is to say what we need or don’t need?

At the end of the day, this is all really just opinion. Maybe we don’t need closure or maybe we do for optimal mental health. Its really by a case by case basis, the true answer to that question.. Is what do YOU NEED? 

Do you NEED to know why they abused you?

Do you NEED to know why he/she left you?

Do you NEED to know why they died?

Do you NEED to know what you ever did to them to deserve what they did?

Do you NEED to know how it all ended up this way?

Our human emotions usually would be screaming yes.. But you must ask yourself, do you really want the answer? And is the answer even possible to obtain?   It is something so validating.. Something that we can only dream of.. I know, I dreamt of it myself. 

When I could not get it from the person.

I dreamt of it, I willed it into existence. 

And I felt better. 

I felt better.

That showed me, if you must have closer..

You must create it, if you cannot find it. 

Ultimately, it is within you.

Not with those other people. 

They merely give you the key to your door, they give you permission to have closure.

For some of us.. We need permission, we NEED that key.

Thats okay. 

Just always remember, that you are the door to that key.

The thing is.. That door was never locked. 

Closure was never locked from you. 

Now the questions are…

Do you open the door with the key?

Or do you just open it yourself?

OR do you even keep it SHUT?

…

What will you need to choose?

To get closure.