45. People Change

If there is one subject that always fascinated me and left me speechless at the same time, it would be human behavior/psychology. More specifically how people change, grow, revert, adapt and evolve mentally. How and why that happens.. Not to mention how it effects us. One trait that has always been a cherished trait in a person.. Is consistency, to always be there, to be “loyal” one might say… To be reliable most of all. I always wondered why that trait was such a big deal, well I would learn why in my teen and young adult years. They say all good things are fleeting.. All good things must come to an end, and its rang true through out all our lives. Our relationships with friends and family are one such example, think back… How many times have you had a loved one(friend/family/anyone) you talked to almost daily, maybe hung out with all the time, or just had some kind of positive interaction with on a daily basis.. I bet you have had many of those type of relationships. Now I ask you..

Whatever happened to those people and relationships? Let me guess.. It all stopped one day, One day… THEY CHANGED. Suddenly the hang outs, calls, texts, become less and less. Those people you considered so close, that you would have taken a bullet for.. Seem like strangers now. They all of the sudden become “too busy” for you, they just don’t have the time to talk or see you anymore apparently.. Maybe you had a disagreement and had a “falling out”. It’s different for everyone, and it happens at different levels of course, but more or less it happens just like that. Now to be fair, you have to look at both sides of the issue.. It is true, people can’t always stay the same, things change.. People have their own lives, relationships, careers, interests, problems and more. Humans are inherently socially growing and evolving beings, very rarely do we “stay the same” for very long. It is the cold hard truth, that people change because thats what they are designed to do… And not always for the better of those around them. That being said, that idea was a very hard pill to swallow and it took me many years to realize and accept that. On the flip side, I’m also a firm believer in that for those people or things you TRULY care about… 

YOU MAKE TIME. 

YOU FORGIVE PEOPLE.

YOU GO AFTER THEM. 

If they are truly important and meaningful people in your life, you will make time to make sure they don’t feel excluded or forgotten. Again, think of your own life.. Those formally close people who are distant to you now.. Who do they have time for now? Look at who they are close to now currently. Sometimes its not about being “busy”, its about changing interests and them wanting something new. Are they entitled to that? Technically they are.. As morally wrong it is to abandon someone who was once close to them. Thats why its so important to choose your friends and loved one wisely. Because you never know when they might change on you, soon or later.. 

When I was young, I always naively thought, If I didn’t change.. If I stayed exactly the same. Genuine, consistent, loyal… Reliable. That all my friends and loved ones would stay the same too. As you could guess, that would not be the case. Over time, I learned how the real world works.. Appreciate and enjoy any and all positive interactions you have with friends and loved one right now while you have them, because it may be destined to end one day.. Now do not take this as “Then whats the point? Why bother connecting with anyone then if it’ll end one day?”. As much as it hurts, thats the gamble you make. Thats also what being humans is all about, the relationships you make and lose, the experiences you have through out it all! For romantic relationships.. There will be heartbreak, there will be disappointment, your whole world be get turned upside down. Maybe they changed or maybe you did, but what stays the same.. Is that you both deserve better, you both deserve love. But I have always believed this about ANY relationships.. “Its better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all”. Then there is the final part of this subject, yourself.. Have you changed? Ponder about that. As for me..

One day when I looked within myself.

I saw that I had changed. 

I could not recognize myself anymore. 

I had new friends.

New hair style.

Different clothes.

Fun new hobbies.

A whole other attitude.  

I had become someone new.

I had changed.

It was a reaction. An adaptation. 

I finally realized, it doesn’t always have to be bad.

I can change for the better.

YOU can change for the better. 

Instead of pushing people away like it usually goes, you can hold them closer then ever before. 

We can break the cycle. 

Because thats what we do..

People change.